How Does Divorce Work? A Step-by-Step Guide
Divorce is the legal process of ending a marriage, but how does divorce work exactly? While every divorce is unique, most cases play out in a similar way. Whether you’re considering an uncontested divorce, mediation, or litigation, understanding the process and whether there’s a prenup involved can help you make informed decisions and reduce stress.
This post walks you through each step, including how serving divorce papers, mediation, uncontested divorces, and buyouts work in a divorce. If you’re in New Jersey, we’ll also explain how the process works in NJ and what you need to know before filing.
What You’ll Learn
- How divorce works from start to finish
- How serving divorce papers works and what happens if a spouse refuses
- How mediation works in a divorce and whether it’s the right choice
- How custody and child support are determined in New Jersey
- How long a divorce takes and what it costs
Step 1: Filing for Divorce
The first step in the divorce process is filing a divorce complaint with the court. This legal document outlines the grounds for divorce and any requests regarding child custody, property division, and financial support.
How Does Divorce Work in NJ?
In New Jersey, at least one spouse must have lived in the state for 12 consecutive months before filing. The person who files is called the plaintiff, while the other spouse is the defendant.
How Does Serving Divorce Papers Work?
After filing, the plaintiff must formally serve the defendant with divorce papers. This can be done by:
- A county sheriff’s officer
- A private process server
- Certified mail (in some cases)
If the defendant does not respond within 35 days, the court may enter a default judgment, in which the divorce goes through without their input.
If you think your spouse might avoid being served, hiring a process server or working with an attorney can guarantee they receive the necessary documents.
Step 2: Responding to the Divorce Complaint
Once served, the defendant has three options:
- Agree with the terms, leading to an uncontested divorce
- Negotiate the terms through settlement or mediation
- Contest the divorce, which may lead to a court trial
How Does an Uncontested Divorce Work?
An uncontested divorce happens when both spouses agree on all aspects, including child custody, division of assets, and financial support. These cases are resolved faster and with less expense than contested divorces.
What Happens Next?
If both spouses agree on the terms, they draft a settlement agreement and send it to the court. A judge will review and approve it, finalizing the divorce without a trial.
Step 3: Temporary Orders
Divorces can take time, and some issues—like child custody, spousal support, or property use—need to be dealt with as the divorce proceedings play out. Courts allow spouses to request temporary orders that remain in effect until the final divorce judgment.
Example: If one spouse stays in the marital home while the divorce is pending, a temporary order can determine who pays the mortgage until the divorce is finalized.
Step 4: Negotiation and Mediation
Most divorces don’t go to trial. Instead, couples settle disputes through direct negotiation or mediation.
How Does Divorce Mediation Work?
Mediation is a structured process where a neutral third party helps spouses reach an agreement on issues like custody, support, and asset division.
Some states, including New Jersey, require custody mediation before allowing a trial. Mediation is often:
- Less expensive than litigation
- Faster than a court trial
- Less stressful for both parties
What Happens Next?
If you reach an agreement in mediation, your mediator will draft a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU), which can be turned into a binding divorce settlement.
Step 5: Property Division
Marital property and other assets need to be divided at this stage of the process. This can be done by the court or negotiated during mediation, and often involves buyouts.
How Does a Buyout Work in a Divorce?
A buyout happens when one spouse keeps a marital asset (like the family home) by buying out the other spouse’s share.
Example: Let’s say the marital home is worth $400,000 and has $100,000 in remaining mortgage. If both spouses have equal ownership, each is entitled to $150,000 in equity. If one spouse wants to keep the home, they must compensate the other spouse for their share.
What If You Can’t Afford a Buyout?
If a buyout isn’t financially possible, alternatives include:
- Dividing profits from selling the home
- Letting one party remain in the home temporarily
- Trading other assets (such as retirement accounts) to compensate
Step 6: Child Custody and Support
Divorce takes a serious toll on any children involved, and decisions regarding their custody will be made with their best interests in mind.
How Does Custody Work in Divorce?
Custody arrangements fall into several categories:
- Sole custody: Primary custody goes to one parent
- Joint custody: Both parents share custody
- Legal custody: The right to make major decisions about the child’s upbringing
- Physical custody: Where the child primarily lives
Step 7: Finalizing the Divorce
After reaching an agreement on the terms and conditions mentioned above, it’s time to finalize the divorce.
How Does Online Divorce Work?
In some cases, couples can handle much of the process online, particularly for uncontested divorces. However, the divorce still must be filed and approved by the court.
Divorce FAQs
How long does a divorce take in New Jersey?
Uncontested divorces can be finalized in a few months, while contested divorces may take six months to several years.
Do I need a lawyer to get a divorce?
No, but hiring a family law attorney can help protect your rights, especially in contested divorces.
What happens if my spouse won’t sign the divorce papers?
If your spouse refuses to respond, the court may issue a default judgment, granting the divorce without their agreement.
How much does a divorce cost in New Jersey?
Filing fees start at $300 to $400, but legal fees vary. Mediation is often cheaper than litigation.
Understanding the Legal Process of Divorce
By understanding how divorce works, you can make the process easier for everyone. If you have questions, consulting a family law attorney can help you understand your rights and options.
Resources:
https://www.njcourts.gov/self-help/divorce
https://www.legalzoom.com/articles/the-divorce-process
https://www.investopedia.com/how-the-divorce-process-works-5205594
